How to Write an Obituary: Step-by-Step Guide with Example

Cameron Williamson

How to Write an Obituary: Step-by-Step Guide with Example

Writing an obituary is never easy. It often comes during one of life’s most difficult moments, when grief can make words feel out of reach. And yet, an obituary is also an act of love: it preserves a story, honors a legacy, and shares a life with the community.

This guide will walk you step by step through writing a meaningful obituary. You’ll also find a fictional example obituary to use as inspiration, along with information about supportive tools like the RemembrLink Obituary Writer, which can help guide you when words are hard to find.

Why Obituaries Matter

At its simplest, an obituary announces a passing. But at its best, it does so much more. It tells the story of a life, offers comfort, and creates a written memory that endures.

As Time once reflected on the art of obituaries:

“Obits have next to nothing to do with death and, in fact, absolutely everything to do with the life.” (Time)

For families, writing an obituary can also be a healing process. Putting words to memories helps preserve them, while sharing them reminds others of the person’s impact.

The Essential Elements of an Obituary

While every obituary is unique, most include a few common components. According to Grammarly, these often include:

• Full name (and nicknames if appropriate)
• Birth and death dates
• Age at passing
• Place of birth and death
• Surviving and predeceased family members
• Funeral or memorial details
• Career, passions, or accomplishments
• Hobbies, values, and personality traits

But beyond these essentials, what truly makes an obituary meaningful is the personal touch: the stories, quirks, and values that made your loved one unique.

Step-by-Step Guide: How to Write an Obituary

Step 1: Gather Essential Information

Begin by collecting the facts. Write down names, dates, relationships, and service details. Having these basics ready makes the rest of the process smoother.

Renaissance Funeral Home reminds families that “an obituary is not just a notice of passing but a heartfelt tribute reflecting the essence and impact of the person’s life.” (Renaissance Funeral Home)

Step 2: Create a Timeline

Sketch out a timeline of life events—education, career, marriage, children, and major milestones. This helps you decide what to highlight and ensures nothing important is overlooked.

Step 3: Choose the Right Tone

The tone can be formal or conversational depending on the audience and publication. Printed newspapers often prefer more formal language, while online memorials allow for warmth and storytelling.

As Mid-America’s grief writing guide suggests, it’s best to “use plain, compassionate language and write in short sessions so as not to overwhelm yourself.”

Step 4: Open with Clarity and Grace

Start with a simple, dignified sentence. Examples include:

• “It is with profound sorrow that we announce the passing of…”
• “Our beloved [Name] passed away peacefully on…”

This sets the tone for the obituary, offering respect and compassion.

Step 5: Share What Made Them Unique

Here is where the heart of the obituary lives. Highlight passions, quirks, or anecdotes that truly reflect your loved one.

Kearney Funeral Services advises:

“Personalize with anecdotes and compassionate detail, rather than generic phrases.”
(Kearney Funeral Services)

Instead of “She loved gardening,” consider: “Each spring, she filled her yard with sunflowers, a tradition she began in memory of her mother.”

Step 6: Balance Brevity and Depth

Most newspaper obituaries run between 200–300 words (Grammarly). Online tributes, however, can be longer, allowing room for more storytelling. Choose what best fits your family’s needs.

Step 7: Mention Family Members

List close surviving family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings) and those who passed before them. Keep this section clear and respectful.

Step 8: Include Service Details

Close with funeral or memorial information. If you prefer privacy, note that the service will be held privately. Many families also include donation preferences: “In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to…”

Step 9: Edit and Proofread

Proofreading is essential. Even small errors can feel painful during grief. French Funerals recommends:

“Read aloud to check tone and flow, and if possible, ask someone else to review it.”
(French Funerals)

A Fictional Sample Obituary

Here’s an example blending structure with warmth.

Elizabeth “Beth” Caroline Monroe (1952–2025)

Elizabeth Caroline Monroe, lovingly known as Beth, passed away peacefully on August 14, 2025, at her home in Asheville, North Carolina, surrounded by family. She was 73 years old.

Born on March 3, 1952, in Richmond, Virginia, Beth grew up with a love of music and literature. She attended the University of Virginia, where she met her husband of 49 years, David Monroe. Together, they built a life rooted in kindness, faith, and laughter.

Beth dedicated her career to teaching high school English, inspiring generations of students to find their voices through words. Her passion for poetry was legendary among her students, many of whom stayed in touch long after graduation.

Beyond the classroom, Beth cherished her garden, where she grew sunflowers each summer in honor of her late mother. She had a warm, quick wit and never missed an opportunity to bake her famous lemon cake for family gatherings.

She is survived by her husband, David; their children, Clara (and husband Michael), James (and wife Sarah), and Emily; six grandchildren who adored their “Nana”; and her brother, Robert. She was preceded in death by her parents, George and Margaret Carter.

A celebration of Beth’s life will be held on Saturday, August 23, at 11 a.m. at Grace Episcopal Church in Asheville. Friends are invited to share stories and music in her honor.

Beth’s family asks that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Asheville Literacy Council, reflecting her lifelong commitment to learning.

Beth lived by the words she often shared with her students: “Leave the world a little better than you found it.”

This example shows how small details—lemon cake, sunflowers, favorite sayings—create a lasting portrait.

How AI Tools Can Help

Writing during grief can feel overwhelming. This is where compassionate AI tools like the RemembrLink Obituary Writer can provide support.

• It guides you step by step, prompting for essential details.
• It helps shape sentences when you don’t know where to begin.
• It ensures nothing important is forgotten, while still leaving space for your voice.

As the Washington Post reported in 2025:

“AI obituary tools are becoming more common in funeral homes, helping families craft meaningful tributes more quickly.”
(Washington Post)

Still, authenticity matters. Vox notes that while AI can provide a starting point, “what matters is the human voice you put into it.” (Vox)

Final Thoughts

Writing an obituary is a profound responsibility, but it is also a gift. It is your chance to say: This person mattered. Their life made an impact. They will be remembered.

Take it step by step. Pause when needed. Ask for help—from family, friends, or a supportive tool like RemembrLink Obituary Writer. In the end, what makes an obituary meaningful isn’t perfection. It’s the love and memory that shine through the words.